I have been thinking alot about my mortality. Then Trixie came in with the news from her doctor. This body I have is the only one I will get. I will have to admit. I have not been all that kind to it.
I make it carry an extra 100 lbs. I do not put useful fuel in it. I do not let it just go out for a nice walk in the park. I force it to drink fluids that do not help it to flush out.
As a care giver of this temple. I have failed. The one book I trust more than any other. My King James Holy Bible. Tells my it is a temple. That I keep, as unto God. I can only imagine what he thinks of me. I know he loves me, and wants to help. But I have to be willing to take the help.
A childhood friend is gone, she was 44. I am not sure what happened. I have ideals. None of which are pleasant. This has really grieved me. I have sent my 1st 45 yrs living like I did not care if my body failed me.
Now I am trying figure out how to get another 45 yrs out of it. Not just yrs but good yrs. With my mind and body working well. I want to be a grandmother like my sweet momma was. She played with them. Made Christmas candy for days. Pick out Christmas dresses for the girls.
I remember my Deer Hunter took his 1st steps in front of her. I want that. I want to cook for days before the holidays. Play in the water. I want to make everyone of them a quilt.
DANG IT, I want more yrs. I have so much left to do. I have started a book. Crystal has been helping me with it. Maybe I will share some of it here. When it gets a little more polished.
Well, Ava and I are going out to enjoy a short walk. :-)
3 comments:
We can do this, my friend. We have to. There are too many precious memories we need to make for ourselves and all the people we love. I have my first class with the dietician this morning (I better get dressed!) I'm going to learn how to polish up my temple too. Let's make this trip together!
I want you around for another 45 years, too. And I want to be there, too, of course. Count me in on this journey. It'll be just one more adventure we take together.
Crystal
Dang. Do I know yer 44-year-old-friend?? E-mail me.
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