In my favorite movie is a line, "I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils" by Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail.
I have my freshly sharpened pencils and notebook. Tomorrow is my first day of beauty collage. I am more excited with every passing minute. I have all my clothes picked out and ready to go. I remember me and my best friend in school. I will call her Dimpy. It was her nickname. We would talk on the phone about what we would wear to school. Then walk the 2 blocks to physically look at the outfits.
Will I find a new friend? One who might be with me for yrs to come. Will I meet a nice man? It is as if someone opened Heaven and gave me a second chance at life. A life that I have a say in, one that will have a happy ending.
Oh I know that it will be hard. I will got to school Tues thur Friday 8am to 4pm. and Sat 9am to 2pm. I will work at on my days off all day, then after school every day except Wed and Thurs. The days that the Princess and Great Deer Hunter are here. They are here every other week end also. But in 11 months, I will have a new career. One that I choose, not one that I could do just because it was there.
I have spent most of my pre marriage yrs working 2 jobs. So it is not new to me. But I was a lot younger then. I know my desire for a better life for me and my children will carry me thur this.
My life has never been what you might call a free ride anyway. Not that I am complaining. It is what makes me who I am. A strong, complicated, loyal, loving, compassionate, creative, passionate women.
Well I am off, to work. I'll let you know how it goes.
JD
Monday, November 05, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
In 30 years
I have been thinking alot about my mortality. Then Trixie came in with the news from her doctor. This body I have is the only one I will get. I will have to admit. I have not been all that kind to it.
I make it carry an extra 100 lbs. I do not put useful fuel in it. I do not let it just go out for a nice walk in the park. I force it to drink fluids that do not help it to flush out.
As a care giver of this temple. I have failed. The one book I trust more than any other. My King James Holy Bible. Tells my it is a temple. That I keep, as unto God. I can only imagine what he thinks of me. I know he loves me, and wants to help. But I have to be willing to take the help.
A childhood friend is gone, she was 44. I am not sure what happened. I have ideals. None of which are pleasant. This has really grieved me. I have sent my 1st 45 yrs living like I did not care if my body failed me.
Now I am trying figure out how to get another 45 yrs out of it. Not just yrs but good yrs. With my mind and body working well. I want to be a grandmother like my sweet momma was. She played with them. Made Christmas candy for days. Pick out Christmas dresses for the girls.
I remember my Deer Hunter took his 1st steps in front of her. I want that. I want to cook for days before the holidays. Play in the water. I want to make everyone of them a quilt.
DANG IT, I want more yrs. I have so much left to do. I have started a book. Crystal has been helping me with it. Maybe I will share some of it here. When it gets a little more polished.
Well, Ava and I are going out to enjoy a short walk. :-)
I make it carry an extra 100 lbs. I do not put useful fuel in it. I do not let it just go out for a nice walk in the park. I force it to drink fluids that do not help it to flush out.
As a care giver of this temple. I have failed. The one book I trust more than any other. My King James Holy Bible. Tells my it is a temple. That I keep, as unto God. I can only imagine what he thinks of me. I know he loves me, and wants to help. But I have to be willing to take the help.
A childhood friend is gone, she was 44. I am not sure what happened. I have ideals. None of which are pleasant. This has really grieved me. I have sent my 1st 45 yrs living like I did not care if my body failed me.
Now I am trying figure out how to get another 45 yrs out of it. Not just yrs but good yrs. With my mind and body working well. I want to be a grandmother like my sweet momma was. She played with them. Made Christmas candy for days. Pick out Christmas dresses for the girls.
I remember my Deer Hunter took his 1st steps in front of her. I want that. I want to cook for days before the holidays. Play in the water. I want to make everyone of them a quilt.
DANG IT, I want more yrs. I have so much left to do. I have started a book. Crystal has been helping me with it. Maybe I will share some of it here. When it gets a little more polished.
Well, Ava and I are going out to enjoy a short walk. :-)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I see the tunnel, where's the light
Hello friends,
To say I have been as close to hell. Would be a tremendous understatement.
But alas, God has taken care of me once again. Praise God, he is good.
I am now employed. Two jobs, I work for a large home improvement store. I also work taking care of an Alzheimer patient. Each has it's rewards. The home improvement store, lets me look at construction workers all day. Looking is free.
The lady I take care of is just a blessing. I will call her Ava. I discovered she and I share the same birthday. Dec 14th. I was born on her 40 birthday. So this year we are having a big party. She still has more good days than bad.
Divorce, has gone as well as one of those can go. I get stronger everyday. My precious Deer Hunter and Princess are adjusting well. They had birthdays this summer. He was 11 she was 9. It is so hard for me to believe they are getting so grown up. The Deer Hunter broke his arm this summer. He was racing bikes. He was on someone else's bike. It had hand brakes and he is used to foot brakes. He ran right into the front of a parked 2 ton wrecker. We were having a barbecue. So we were all out side. I had my back to it. But heard the crash.
He was so brave. Jumped up and was walking to the house. After looking him over. We made a trip to the ER. I was so scared. He had and imprint of the handle bar in his chest. His cheek just below his eye was swelling up.
When we signed in he was shaking. The ER was full. I was afraid we would have to wait forever. But we went back to get evaluated, from there straight to ex ray, then back to a room right across from the nurses. With windows so they could see us. This was causing me concern. But when I went out to see if he could have a drink. I was told he could not. Because they were making sure he didn't have any internal injuries. We were blessed. He only came out with a black eye and a broken arm.
The next week. Their camp called me. The Princess had fallen on the concrete. They told me she would most likely have to have stitches. So once again we were off to the ER. They were able to glue it together. Thank God. It was almost more stress than I could take so close together.
We made stepping stone the other day, Ava too. They were all proud of how they came out. Ava really enjoys when I am able to bring kids over. The other day. She was taking a nap. When I went to get her up. She told me she woke up and heard the children. It made her happy to hear them laughing.
I have been blessed even more. I went to sign up for Beauty college. I found out I will get a grant and scholarship that will pay for all my cost. Now I only have to cut corners until I get out. I am also working on getting a small business loan to open my own shop.
So that has been my summer. What have you done? Congrats to Tech on his new book. I am hoping to get one when I get paid.
To say I have been as close to hell. Would be a tremendous understatement.
But alas, God has taken care of me once again. Praise God, he is good.
I am now employed. Two jobs, I work for a large home improvement store. I also work taking care of an Alzheimer patient. Each has it's rewards. The home improvement store, lets me look at construction workers all day. Looking is free.
The lady I take care of is just a blessing. I will call her Ava. I discovered she and I share the same birthday. Dec 14th. I was born on her 40 birthday. So this year we are having a big party. She still has more good days than bad.
Divorce, has gone as well as one of those can go. I get stronger everyday. My precious Deer Hunter and Princess are adjusting well. They had birthdays this summer. He was 11 she was 9. It is so hard for me to believe they are getting so grown up. The Deer Hunter broke his arm this summer. He was racing bikes. He was on someone else's bike. It had hand brakes and he is used to foot brakes. He ran right into the front of a parked 2 ton wrecker. We were having a barbecue. So we were all out side. I had my back to it. But heard the crash.
He was so brave. Jumped up and was walking to the house. After looking him over. We made a trip to the ER. I was so scared. He had and imprint of the handle bar in his chest. His cheek just below his eye was swelling up.
When we signed in he was shaking. The ER was full. I was afraid we would have to wait forever. But we went back to get evaluated, from there straight to ex ray, then back to a room right across from the nurses. With windows so they could see us. This was causing me concern. But when I went out to see if he could have a drink. I was told he could not. Because they were making sure he didn't have any internal injuries. We were blessed. He only came out with a black eye and a broken arm.
The next week. Their camp called me. The Princess had fallen on the concrete. They told me she would most likely have to have stitches. So once again we were off to the ER. They were able to glue it together. Thank God. It was almost more stress than I could take so close together.
We made stepping stone the other day, Ava too. They were all proud of how they came out. Ava really enjoys when I am able to bring kids over. The other day. She was taking a nap. When I went to get her up. She told me she woke up and heard the children. It made her happy to hear them laughing.
I have been blessed even more. I went to sign up for Beauty college. I found out I will get a grant and scholarship that will pay for all my cost. Now I only have to cut corners until I get out. I am also working on getting a small business loan to open my own shop.
So that has been my summer. What have you done? Congrats to Tech on his new book. I am hoping to get one when I get paid.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
House Mom
After the shock, and utter embarrassment of being fired wore off. I have really enjoyed
being home. If you take out the panic attacks and sleepless nights. :-(
The last few days have been really nice. I would pick up the kids from school. Take
them to the park. We had a real home cooked meal. It was nice. I am on top of the
laundry (so to speak). Most not all of the clutter has been moved.
Spent the day redecorating the princess's room. She thought it was so cute. She is just
the light in my eyes. She is practicing " When the Saints go marching home" I am hoping
she will have the nerve to play it for the church. Piano, lessons are paying off
The great deer hunter has been out side. Working on his Kong fu moves. He is so funny.
I hope he is able to always keep his since of humor.
Last night I made up a baked pocket. I browned ground turkey, added chopped onion,
1/4 of pack taco seasoning, can of Rotel tomatoes, and drained can of whole kernel corn.
Cooked that down. Took 2 9" ready to use pie crust. Put meat mixture on one side of
a pie crust. Folded pie crust in two. Pinched the edges with a fork. Did the same with
the 2nd crust. Cooked at 400 until crust was done. It was not bad. I did not have any
cheese in the house. It would have been good in it.
We just sliced it in triangles like pie. yum yum.
Well I better get to his new Job interview. I wish I cold find a job paid well enough I could
work 3 days a week.
being home. If you take out the panic attacks and sleepless nights. :-(
The last few days have been really nice. I would pick up the kids from school. Take
them to the park. We had a real home cooked meal. It was nice. I am on top of the
laundry (so to speak). Most not all of the clutter has been moved.
Spent the day redecorating the princess's room. She thought it was so cute. She is just
the light in my eyes. She is practicing " When the Saints go marching home" I am hoping
she will have the nerve to play it for the church. Piano, lessons are paying off
The great deer hunter has been out side. Working on his Kong fu moves. He is so funny.
I hope he is able to always keep his since of humor.
Last night I made up a baked pocket. I browned ground turkey, added chopped onion,
1/4 of pack taco seasoning, can of Rotel tomatoes, and drained can of whole kernel corn.
Cooked that down. Took 2 9" ready to use pie crust. Put meat mixture on one side of
a pie crust. Folded pie crust in two. Pinched the edges with a fork. Did the same with
the 2nd crust. Cooked at 400 until crust was done. It was not bad. I did not have any
cheese in the house. It would have been good in it.
We just sliced it in triangles like pie. yum yum.
Well I better get to his new Job interview. I wish I cold find a job paid well enough I could
work 3 days a week.
Monday, April 16, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL
I have a very good friend. Her name is Crystal. Most every event in my life has
involved her in some way. We may not have been in the same state at the time.
We have been friends since Jr High. That is more years than could be possible.
Since this is the year we turn 29. :-) LOL... That might be stretching the truth
just a hair or two. Ok may be a whole head of hair!!
We might go months or even a year or so with out talking. But the min I hear her
voice. It is as if time has stood still. It may take us a while but we get back up to
speed. She is always ready to give me advice. I am usually ready to hear it. Some
times I have to chew on it a while.
Live is full of so many turns, trees down in the road, water spewing out from under
the kitchen sink. IT IS A VERY GOOD THING TO HAVE A FRIEND.
Not the longest toast in the world. But this long, tall, cold, Coors is for you Sister.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MY FRIEND.
involved her in some way. We may not have been in the same state at the time.
We have been friends since Jr High. That is more years than could be possible.
Since this is the year we turn 29. :-) LOL... That might be stretching the truth
just a hair or two. Ok may be a whole head of hair!!
We might go months or even a year or so with out talking. But the min I hear her
voice. It is as if time has stood still. It may take us a while but we get back up to
speed. She is always ready to give me advice. I am usually ready to hear it. Some
times I have to chew on it a while.
Live is full of so many turns, trees down in the road, water spewing out from under
the kitchen sink. IT IS A VERY GOOD THING TO HAVE A FRIEND.
Not the longest toast in the world. But this long, tall, cold, Coors is for you Sister.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MY FRIEND.
Friday, February 16, 2007
I am ok, REALLY I AM......
Divorce- traumatic event
Setting up new home- traumatic event
Losing your job- traumatic event
Lets recap for those who might have missed. I am going thur a divorce. After
11 yrs and 2 children. So i am setting up a new home. I only left with the sofa,
love seat, some kitchen utensil's, and personal items.
Then with out warning ( I guess there never is) I was fired from my job.
I am 45 yrs old started working at the age of 15. I have never been fired.
This had to be one of the most humiliating things that has ever happened to me.
Not to mention not a good time in my life.
3 major traumatic events. In the last 6 months.
Now I am just venting. That was the purpose of this blog. To let go of all my
experiences, good, bad, happy or sad. Surprisingly I am really ok.
I have set up my new home. I still have some boxes to empty. I would like to
paint the walls. Make some curtains. But for the most part. I am very happy
with my new home. It is paid for which helps a lot.
I had a very good interview this morning. It is with a large hospital in our
city. The position may not be the greatest. But it does get my foot in the
door.
I have been thinking of going back to school. I am still deciding on what I
would like to do. I am limited. I can not be on my feet for a long time.
If any one has any ideals. Please leave them.
The great deer hunter and Princess are doing very well thur all of this.
We have tried to do this with their best interest. I also have a beautiful
Korean girl in our home. She is 17 and from South Korea. I call her
Sunflower. Thru all of this she has helped keep every ones mind occupied.
This is a lot to swallow. But surprisingly I really am doing ok. This will
be a very had year. When I look back on it. I will think it was for the best.
You know what they always say. If it does not kill you, it will make you
stronger. I am working on being one of the strongest women alive. hhheee
LOL..:-)
Lots of love to momma ER and big brudder. You are in my thoughts and
prayers.
Setting up new home- traumatic event
Losing your job- traumatic event
Lets recap for those who might have missed. I am going thur a divorce. After
11 yrs and 2 children. So i am setting up a new home. I only left with the sofa,
love seat, some kitchen utensil's, and personal items.
Then with out warning ( I guess there never is) I was fired from my job.
I am 45 yrs old started working at the age of 15. I have never been fired.
This had to be one of the most humiliating things that has ever happened to me.
Not to mention not a good time in my life.
3 major traumatic events. In the last 6 months.
Now I am just venting. That was the purpose of this blog. To let go of all my
experiences, good, bad, happy or sad. Surprisingly I am really ok.
I have set up my new home. I still have some boxes to empty. I would like to
paint the walls. Make some curtains. But for the most part. I am very happy
with my new home. It is paid for which helps a lot.
I had a very good interview this morning. It is with a large hospital in our
city. The position may not be the greatest. But it does get my foot in the
door.
I have been thinking of going back to school. I am still deciding on what I
would like to do. I am limited. I can not be on my feet for a long time.
If any one has any ideals. Please leave them.
The great deer hunter and Princess are doing very well thur all of this.
We have tried to do this with their best interest. I also have a beautiful
Korean girl in our home. She is 17 and from South Korea. I call her
Sunflower. Thru all of this she has helped keep every ones mind occupied.
This is a lot to swallow. But surprisingly I really am doing ok. This will
be a very had year. When I look back on it. I will think it was for the best.
You know what they always say. If it does not kill you, it will make you
stronger. I am working on being one of the strongest women alive. hhheee
LOL..:-)
Lots of love to momma ER and big brudder. You are in my thoughts and
prayers.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
The Darkness Come
THE DARKNESS COME
whence duth come the darkness
all consuming day, all consuming night
whence duth come the darkness
eyes that see no more
whence duth come the darkness
bones that crumble and waste
whence duth come the darkness
ears that scream
whence duth come the darkness
lips that burn with desire
whence duth come the darkness
heart that beats no more
whence duth come the LIGHT!!
jd
10-23-06 1:15 AM
LET THE LIGHT SHINE
oh the pain that floods my soul. the darkness comes
over powering like the waters of a roaring
river that can not be stopped.
the sorow weighs on me. like a mill stone pulling me
under the currents deeper, deeper and deeper.
fear of the terrior not seen, hidden in the cold
black abyss.
life filled with , lyies, untrust, sadness,
hopelessness, sucking all the joy from every
fiber of my soul.
the darkness is so all consuming
when, when oh when I beg will the light come when
will the joy, hope, and freedom come to me
can i stand strong until the light comes please, please
i beg, let the light shine again.
jd
11-03-06
whence duth come the darkness
all consuming day, all consuming night
whence duth come the darkness
eyes that see no more
whence duth come the darkness
bones that crumble and waste
whence duth come the darkness
ears that scream
whence duth come the darkness
lips that burn with desire
whence duth come the darkness
heart that beats no more
whence duth come the LIGHT!!
jd
10-23-06 1:15 AM
LET THE LIGHT SHINE
oh the pain that floods my soul. the darkness comes
over powering like the waters of a roaring
river that can not be stopped.
the sorow weighs on me. like a mill stone pulling me
under the currents deeper, deeper and deeper.
fear of the terrior not seen, hidden in the cold
black abyss.
life filled with , lyies, untrust, sadness,
hopelessness, sucking all the joy from every
fiber of my soul.
the darkness is so all consuming
when, when oh when I beg will the light come when
will the joy, hope, and freedom come to me
can i stand strong until the light comes please, please
i beg, let the light shine again.
jd
11-03-06
Sunday, November 19, 2006
the flames are burning my feet
Hello friends,
To say my life is hell right now, would be a tremendous understatment.
I am sitting in the living room of my mothers home. (mom died 4 yrs
now but it will always be mom's house). It is were I go when life is
just to overwhelming. I do not know if it is just me. Mom died here at
home. I can still feel her peace here. Calming me when the answeres to
life are very had.
This blog was to be my place to take my feelings good, bad, sad, happy and
ever thing in between. I have been so locked up inside. I couldn't even
find words to write here.
I think I can finally hear the flood waters coming. I have some poems I will
be listing later. I left them at work.
I am in the process of a D I V O R C E....I feel as if I have been to
the bottom of hell. I keep thinking it will be over soon. But that is
when the flood waters suck me down in a whirlpool again.
That is why I had to come home. I will still have to get up and drive
back for work tomorrow. But I needed to get out for a while. I need
your prayers. ( I need this DONE..) I have to get started on my
way back up.
I have always been a fighter. Ask anyone who knows me. But my fighting
skills are rusty. I have spent the last 10 yrs keeping peace, not speaking
my mind. To the point I woke up one morning, not knowing who I was looking
at in the mirror.
All the things that made me who I am, were gone. I am sick all the time.
My mind fades in and out. My respect for myself left long ago. I truly
beleive my life has been making me physically sick.
I guess we will find out soon. The longer I am gone, we will see if
I get better.
I have been to the lawyer. I know how much money I will be getting. The
issues about the children have been settled. Now I need to be able to
find a place. I need to try and find some thing I can pay cash for.
All should be done by the new year.
Pray for my deer hunter and the little princess. They will need it
I do not want them to get caught up in this. They still need 2 parents.
( the little deer hunter and dad got a deer :-) I have never
seen my little man more excited and proud. He couldn't get
his hammer back. So he told dad to get it. )
I guess I will end this for now. I am very sorry to dump such unhappy
stuff. But as I said this is my sounding board.
from the bottom
JD
To say my life is hell right now, would be a tremendous understatment.
I am sitting in the living room of my mothers home. (mom died 4 yrs
now but it will always be mom's house). It is were I go when life is
just to overwhelming. I do not know if it is just me. Mom died here at
home. I can still feel her peace here. Calming me when the answeres to
life are very had.
This blog was to be my place to take my feelings good, bad, sad, happy and
ever thing in between. I have been so locked up inside. I couldn't even
find words to write here.
I think I can finally hear the flood waters coming. I have some poems I will
be listing later. I left them at work.
I am in the process of a D I V O R C E....I feel as if I have been to
the bottom of hell. I keep thinking it will be over soon. But that is
when the flood waters suck me down in a whirlpool again.
That is why I had to come home. I will still have to get up and drive
back for work tomorrow. But I needed to get out for a while. I need
your prayers. ( I need this DONE..) I have to get started on my
way back up.
I have always been a fighter. Ask anyone who knows me. But my fighting
skills are rusty. I have spent the last 10 yrs keeping peace, not speaking
my mind. To the point I woke up one morning, not knowing who I was looking
at in the mirror.
All the things that made me who I am, were gone. I am sick all the time.
My mind fades in and out. My respect for myself left long ago. I truly
beleive my life has been making me physically sick.
I guess we will find out soon. The longer I am gone, we will see if
I get better.
I have been to the lawyer. I know how much money I will be getting. The
issues about the children have been settled. Now I need to be able to
find a place. I need to try and find some thing I can pay cash for.
All should be done by the new year.
Pray for my deer hunter and the little princess. They will need it
I do not want them to get caught up in this. They still need 2 parents.
( the little deer hunter and dad got a deer :-) I have never
seen my little man more excited and proud. He couldn't get
his hammer back. So he told dad to get it. )
I guess I will end this for now. I am very sorry to dump such unhappy
stuff. But as I said this is my sounding board.
from the bottom
JD
Friday, September 08, 2006
What a Day!!
Tomorrow will be one of the busyist days of my life. I am already tired just
thinking about it.
My darling little princess will be in her school Mr and Miss pageant. We have
practice at 9:00am. Then as soon as we get out, we are heading for the hair
dresser. She will have her hair and nails done. I can't wait to see how she
looks.
By the time we get done there, grab some lunch. We are heading for their
cousin's birthday party. It is a costume party. Of course she is going as
a princess, her brother is going as a pirate.
Before the party is over. I will take the great deer hunter to his 1st
ever football game. The princess will go home with my mother in law to
wait for us. The great deer hunter is doing just great in football. I
was surprised, he took to it so well. He is pretty small for his age.
I have seen him take down boys ever bit 3x bigger than him. He is tackle
on defense. He is so small and fast, he hits the guy in front of him on
the legs and takes them down. Last week he hit a big kid, who fell on
top of him. The big kid had to be taken out of the scrimmage. He some how got
his hand in deer hunter's helment and cut it.
The kids dad will pick up princess at his moms. Get her to the pageant.
As soon as we get done with football. We will head that away. Football
game is from 5-6pm. It is at least an hour from the pageant. It starts at
7 pm.
The force be with me. I am so excited for both of them. I am not sure of
the chances princess has to win. But I can't wait to see her all dressed up.
The Great deer hunter's chance of winning are pretty slim. The team they are
playing was the best team at the scrimmages last week with all the teams.
That is enough rambling for now.
thinking about it.
My darling little princess will be in her school Mr and Miss pageant. We have
practice at 9:00am. Then as soon as we get out, we are heading for the hair
dresser. She will have her hair and nails done. I can't wait to see how she
looks.
By the time we get done there, grab some lunch. We are heading for their
cousin's birthday party. It is a costume party. Of course she is going as
a princess, her brother is going as a pirate.
Before the party is over. I will take the great deer hunter to his 1st
ever football game. The princess will go home with my mother in law to
wait for us. The great deer hunter is doing just great in football. I
was surprised, he took to it so well. He is pretty small for his age.
I have seen him take down boys ever bit 3x bigger than him. He is tackle
on defense. He is so small and fast, he hits the guy in front of him on
the legs and takes them down. Last week he hit a big kid, who fell on
top of him. The big kid had to be taken out of the scrimmage. He some how got
his hand in deer hunter's helment and cut it.
The kids dad will pick up princess at his moms. Get her to the pageant.
As soon as we get done with football. We will head that away. Football
game is from 5-6pm. It is at least an hour from the pageant. It starts at
7 pm.
The force be with me. I am so excited for both of them. I am not sure of
the chances princess has to win. But I can't wait to see her all dressed up.
The Great deer hunter's chance of winning are pretty slim. The team they are
playing was the best team at the scrimmages last week with all the teams.
That is enough rambling for now.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Do you remember
It was bitterly cold, half a foot of snow. It was clear, the snow had
cleaned the air. It looked like the world was black and white, Pure
white. The only pure white God can make.
In this world of black and white. Before so many things made it grey.
There were a group of friends. Before the friends on tv. This group
had 4 boys and 3 girls. We met every day to hang out.
On this day we played tackle football in the snow. We went to the old
country store in town. This is the same store I had gone to since I
was a small child. It had concrete floors, high ceilings with ceiling
fans. I even had a feed room in the back. It was the kind of store you
would see in any small town America. It would take you back to the
1950's. But the year was 1974. (I think)
We warmed ourselves at the old stove. Eating snacks, drying off for the
next venture out in the snow. Some of us had been friends since before
school.
One of the guys, had lived next to me when I was 5 he was 3. I remember
being mad at him because he could pee behind a tree. I had to go in the
house. Which took me away from time playing.
One day we went about a mile from home. Crossed railrood tracks, an old, one lane,woode bridge. I got scared and would not come back across.
But that is another story.
Our little group started back out. Walked about 3 block, crossed a field.
We ended up at a frozen pond. While we were there we decided to play truth
or dare. In the midest of this, the dares started going to kissing. Who
would kiss who.
Now I had never been kissed, to say I was scared, excited, and shaking. As
you could imagine it came to me. One of the guys, that was the only jerk in
the bunch. Said he was sure I had never been kissed. I was so embarrassed.
The sweetest guy, Brad P said he would kiss me. I was sure I would just
faint right there. I can still remember his soft lips on mine. It was the
most tender kiss. I have only met one other guy who could kiss as good as
BP.
This was a warm tinder kiss, the kind what warms you to your soul. I will
always remember that day.
Tell me about your 1st kiss? Do you remember it? Who it was? What did you
think?
cleaned the air. It looked like the world was black and white, Pure
white. The only pure white God can make.
In this world of black and white. Before so many things made it grey.
There were a group of friends. Before the friends on tv. This group
had 4 boys and 3 girls. We met every day to hang out.
On this day we played tackle football in the snow. We went to the old
country store in town. This is the same store I had gone to since I
was a small child. It had concrete floors, high ceilings with ceiling
fans. I even had a feed room in the back. It was the kind of store you
would see in any small town America. It would take you back to the
1950's. But the year was 1974. (I think)
We warmed ourselves at the old stove. Eating snacks, drying off for the
next venture out in the snow. Some of us had been friends since before
school.
One of the guys, had lived next to me when I was 5 he was 3. I remember
being mad at him because he could pee behind a tree. I had to go in the
house. Which took me away from time playing.
One day we went about a mile from home. Crossed railrood tracks, an old, one lane,woode bridge. I got scared and would not come back across.
But that is another story.
Our little group started back out. Walked about 3 block, crossed a field.
We ended up at a frozen pond. While we were there we decided to play truth
or dare. In the midest of this, the dares started going to kissing. Who
would kiss who.
Now I had never been kissed, to say I was scared, excited, and shaking. As
you could imagine it came to me. One of the guys, that was the only jerk in
the bunch. Said he was sure I had never been kissed. I was so embarrassed.
The sweetest guy, Brad P said he would kiss me. I was sure I would just
faint right there. I can still remember his soft lips on mine. It was the
most tender kiss. I have only met one other guy who could kiss as good as
BP.
This was a warm tinder kiss, the kind what warms you to your soul. I will
always remember that day.
Tell me about your 1st kiss? Do you remember it? Who it was? What did you
think?
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Sweet Rain from Heaven
Last night the Heavens opened up and let down a wonderful slow soaking rain.
It was the 1st substantial rain in a very long time. It was the 1st rain since
my husband put a top on our deck. It was so relaxing to hear the rain hit the
tin roof. It was a little to cool to go out and enjoy from the deck. But I can
not wait for warmer weather to sit in my swing, drifting off in to a nap. Listening
to the pitter patter of the rain on the tin.
We have a very busy day today. My little princess has a birthday party to attend.
It is at the local center for families and has a big indoor pool. I think I will
take the chance to get a little exercise in the water. It is so much easier on
my knees.
I know this has not been very much. But I have got to hit the ground running
today so much to do. My children are having a baked potato chili dinner at
church tonight. They are raising money for outings this summer.
Take care.
It was the 1st substantial rain in a very long time. It was the 1st rain since
my husband put a top on our deck. It was so relaxing to hear the rain hit the
tin roof. It was a little to cool to go out and enjoy from the deck. But I can
not wait for warmer weather to sit in my swing, drifting off in to a nap. Listening
to the pitter patter of the rain on the tin.
We have a very busy day today. My little princess has a birthday party to attend.
It is at the local center for families and has a big indoor pool. I think I will
take the chance to get a little exercise in the water. It is so much easier on
my knees.
I know this has not been very much. But I have got to hit the ground running
today so much to do. My children are having a baked potato chili dinner at
church tonight. They are raising money for outings this summer.
Take care.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
7 meme
Trixie tagged me. So here are my 7 meme
A Seven things to do before I die.
1. She my children grown into happy,
well adjusted adults.
2. Understand what my purpose is.
3. Travel all 50 states.
4. Write a book or two.
5. Be as organized in my life as I see
in my head.
6. Learn to barrel race and drive a race car.
7. Dance on a sawdust covered dance floor,
holding tight to the mutual love of my life.
B Seven things I can not do.
1. Have a clean house.
2. Ride a bull
3. Understand men
4. Balance a check book. (even though I can balance
several thousand dollars daily at work.)
5. Sing with out freighting children.
6. Ride fast rides at the fair.
7. Tolerate self righteous people.
C Seven things that attract me. ( to anyone)
1. Laughter that goes down to he soul.
2. Smile
3. Welcoming eyes.
4. Good firm hand shake, (that limp stuff makes me
nervous)
5. Confidence
6. Able to find humor in everything.
7. Love of life.
D Seven things I say most often
1. What do you think you are doing?
2. Get down from there right now.
3. O no you didn't.
4. I love you.
5. I don't think so.
6. I am going as fast as old ladies can go.
7. Because I said so.
E Seven books ( or series or genres or topics) that I
love.
1. Bible
2. Self help books
3. Books on prayer.
4. Family history.
5. History of Oklahoma
6. Any cook books
7. Comic Romance novels
F Seven movies I would watch over and over again ( if I had time)
1. Gone with the Wind
2. Sabrina ( old and new)
3. You've got Mail
4. Bridges of Madison County
5. Breakfast at Tiffanies
6. Casablanca
7. Moonstruck
G. Seven people I want to join in too.
Most everyone I know has already done this.
A Seven things to do before I die.
1. She my children grown into happy,
well adjusted adults.
2. Understand what my purpose is.
3. Travel all 50 states.
4. Write a book or two.
5. Be as organized in my life as I see
in my head.
6. Learn to barrel race and drive a race car.
7. Dance on a sawdust covered dance floor,
holding tight to the mutual love of my life.
B Seven things I can not do.
1. Have a clean house.
2. Ride a bull
3. Understand men
4. Balance a check book. (even though I can balance
several thousand dollars daily at work.)
5. Sing with out freighting children.
6. Ride fast rides at the fair.
7. Tolerate self righteous people.
C Seven things that attract me. ( to anyone)
1. Laughter that goes down to he soul.
2. Smile
3. Welcoming eyes.
4. Good firm hand shake, (that limp stuff makes me
nervous)
5. Confidence
6. Able to find humor in everything.
7. Love of life.
D Seven things I say most often
1. What do you think you are doing?
2. Get down from there right now.
3. O no you didn't.
4. I love you.
5. I don't think so.
6. I am going as fast as old ladies can go.
7. Because I said so.
E Seven books ( or series or genres or topics) that I
love.
1. Bible
2. Self help books
3. Books on prayer.
4. Family history.
5. History of Oklahoma
6. Any cook books
7. Comic Romance novels
F Seven movies I would watch over and over again ( if I had time)
1. Gone with the Wind
2. Sabrina ( old and new)
3. You've got Mail
4. Bridges of Madison County
5. Breakfast at Tiffanies
6. Casablanca
7. Moonstruck
G. Seven people I want to join in too.
Most everyone I know has already done this.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Not a winter program
We had our Christmas program at church last night. I was the mc,
and my preteen class did a skit. The 1st thing I said was this is
a Christmas program. It was not to be confused with a Holiday
program or Winter festival. It is a Christmas program, with the
country having issues, so now they call it a Holiday season.
We do not have issues it is a CHRISTMAS PROGRAM, CHRISTMAS SEASON,
IT IS CHRISTMAS!!!!!
It went very well, the 2yrs and under did a manger scene. Complete
with a live baby for Jesus. Surprisingly he did not cry. The next
2 classes combined for a songs and stories.
Then came my class. They wanted to do a skit. I did not have alot of
time to search for a skit. We decided to write our own. I gave them
3 choices on the setting. They picked a bus that hits a snowbank on
Christmas eve. They then picked what characters they wanted to be.
I sat down at the library, prayed for God to guide me in what he wanted
to say. I was very pleased. This was my 1st time to write a play. I
think God did a good job. Every one seemed to like it very well.
When I have more time to post I may list it for you.
Then young adult's did a skit. It all went very well.
I am feeling very stretched right now. There are some other issues
going on in my life that are deeply concerning me. So please say a
prayer for me, that God will guide me with wisdom, patience, strength.
I hope you all have the greatest Christmas ever.
and my preteen class did a skit. The 1st thing I said was this is
a Christmas program. It was not to be confused with a Holiday
program or Winter festival. It is a Christmas program, with the
country having issues, so now they call it a Holiday season.
We do not have issues it is a CHRISTMAS PROGRAM, CHRISTMAS SEASON,
IT IS CHRISTMAS!!!!!
It went very well, the 2yrs and under did a manger scene. Complete
with a live baby for Jesus. Surprisingly he did not cry. The next
2 classes combined for a songs and stories.
Then came my class. They wanted to do a skit. I did not have alot of
time to search for a skit. We decided to write our own. I gave them
3 choices on the setting. They picked a bus that hits a snowbank on
Christmas eve. They then picked what characters they wanted to be.
I sat down at the library, prayed for God to guide me in what he wanted
to say. I was very pleased. This was my 1st time to write a play. I
think God did a good job. Every one seemed to like it very well.
When I have more time to post I may list it for you.
Then young adult's did a skit. It all went very well.
I am feeling very stretched right now. There are some other issues
going on in my life that are deeply concerning me. So please say a
prayer for me, that God will guide me with wisdom, patience, strength.
I hope you all have the greatest Christmas ever.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Granny is missing
About 4 months back. An elderly couple were at the
pharmacy next door. When the man came back to the
car he could not find his wife. We searched the parking
lot, all the buildings, the police were called.
I felt so sorry for him, he was so lost, and frail looking.
The police were scanning the surrounding area's. I
decided to walk the 1/2 block up to gas station to see
if she was there.
I went in asked the clerk if she had seen an eldery
heavy set women. She told me she had not seen her.
On the way back, I was almost to the street. A police
car whipped in. He rolled down his window. I could tell
by the look on his face, he thought it was me. I quickly
told him she was not in the store. I was not about to
give him the chance to ask me if I was her.
Saying that, when I got to work today. There were black
streamers on the door to my office, flyers saying
MISSING Have you seen this women with a picture of me
also mistaken for granny. She is lost can you find her.
Pictures of old women all covered my office. a Cautions senior
moment in progress toped my monitor.
So happy birthday to me(granny) by the way I am not that old
but apparently I look like it. I just recently colored my hair
again, in hopes people would stop thinking my deer hunter and
princess were my grandchildren..
Oh the women is fine. Her husband had left her at a yardsale.
Someone there had taken her home. What was even worse it was 2
yardsale stops before the pharmacy.
pharmacy next door. When the man came back to the
car he could not find his wife. We searched the parking
lot, all the buildings, the police were called.
I felt so sorry for him, he was so lost, and frail looking.
The police were scanning the surrounding area's. I
decided to walk the 1/2 block up to gas station to see
if she was there.
I went in asked the clerk if she had seen an eldery
heavy set women. She told me she had not seen her.
On the way back, I was almost to the street. A police
car whipped in. He rolled down his window. I could tell
by the look on his face, he thought it was me. I quickly
told him she was not in the store. I was not about to
give him the chance to ask me if I was her.
Saying that, when I got to work today. There were black
streamers on the door to my office, flyers saying
MISSING Have you seen this women with a picture of me
also mistaken for granny. She is lost can you find her.
Pictures of old women all covered my office. a Cautions senior
moment in progress toped my monitor.
So happy birthday to me(granny) by the way I am not that old
but apparently I look like it. I just recently colored my hair
again, in hopes people would stop thinking my deer hunter and
princess were my grandchildren..
Oh the women is fine. Her husband had left her at a yardsale.
Someone there had taken her home. What was even worse it was 2
yardsale stops before the pharmacy.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
over the hill
tomorrow is my birthday. At the office where I work.
There is a tradition, you get your cubicle decorated.
There have been several different ones. One was a
chicken coop for a girl who will not eat beef, one
was a hurricane, because both her sons were helping
during Wilma, we had a wedding for the new girl who
caught the bouquet at a resent wedding, a fashion show
for a lady who modeled for a fashion show at her church,
my personal favorite was trailer park white trash, complete
with duct tape, toilet seat flower planter, pink flamingo,
large Rebel flag.
So it will be very interesting to see what they do to me. I have
had to listen to them snicker, and full blown laugh out loud.
Stuff things in desk when I walk up. The new girl, said it is
the worst one yet. She even said she felt sorry for me.
I am getting pretty nervous. I will post what ever it is.
There is a tradition, you get your cubicle decorated.
There have been several different ones. One was a
chicken coop for a girl who will not eat beef, one
was a hurricane, because both her sons were helping
during Wilma, we had a wedding for the new girl who
caught the bouquet at a resent wedding, a fashion show
for a lady who modeled for a fashion show at her church,
my personal favorite was trailer park white trash, complete
with duct tape, toilet seat flower planter, pink flamingo,
large Rebel flag.
So it will be very interesting to see what they do to me. I have
had to listen to them snicker, and full blown laugh out loud.
Stuff things in desk when I walk up. The new girl, said it is
the worst one yet. She even said she felt sorry for me.
I am getting pretty nervous. I will post what ever it is.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Dear Mom
Dear Mom,
It seems like forever since you left. I know you are
in a better place. But I can't help but miss you.
It is almost Thanksgiving. I remember you getting up
at 4:00am to put the turkey on. Working all day in the
kitchen getting all the fixins ready. You would let me
do the dressin because you said I do it better. I can
taste the fruit salad with the little marshmallows in
it.
The brown and serve rolls with butter leaking out. Cran
berry sauce. The Thanksgiving day parade on TV. All the
football games, me and pop used to watch.
I miss sitting and talking about Christmas coming soon.
Planning shopping trips. I remember the day I realized you
and I would never shop together again. I cried all the
way home.
I love your homemade Christmas candy, helping you hang all
those stockings for all of us.
I have the fondest memories of when we lived in the Mize rent
house. We had the most horrible silver tree. But I thought it
was great. Then the next year I walked up by the baseball field
cut a tree down myself. Then drug it home. I sure did not look
that big out in the field. I took up 1/2 the wall and bent over
the ceiling. It looked naked because we did not have enough
ornaments. But you never said much.
I mostly love the way you made me barbie clothes, and furniture
out of commodity cheese boxes. I had living room, kitchen and
bed room furninture. The doors and drawers even worked. Then how
you saved your pennies so you could order the barbie rv from the
Sear's catalog. How surprised I was.
I want so much to be a good mom. I wish you could see my babies.
Well I guess they are not babies any more. The deer hunter is 9
now. You should see the excitement in his eyes when he catches a
fish, lizard or any other of God's little creatures. He has my
blue eyes. He can put an adult to shame when he prays. He gets
up in Church and sings with his friend. Oh how I wish you could
see him. He is my great protector. He has the kindest heart, and
is all boy.
I am paying for my raisin with the Princess. She has a sparkle in
her eyes that can't be equaled. She is the mother to every cat, dog,
rabbit, and bird that calls our house home. When she laughs it is
like joy ebbs from every fiber of her being. She has the most
enchanting singing voice. But so far has chosen to share it only
with her stuffed animals. She looks just like you when you were a
girl, curly hair and all. She is my conqueror. The coach at school
said he pities the man she marries.
I finished my 1st quilt. It as for the little princess. She loves
it. It was made from you flannel pj's, my gown, and one of princesses
gowns. It is very special to her and me. I found material to go with
the beautiful pansies you made. But I can not seem to sew it together.
I think it is still to emotional. I have it pinned together, so maybe
soon I will be able to sew it up.
Oh I wish I could just sit at the Kitchen table with you. Talk about
mom and daughter stuff. I know it is not Biblical but, I sure wish
you could sit on a cloud and watch the deer hunter and princess.
Well I have to go. Supper to get, move the living room around to have
a place for the Christmas tree.
It seems like forever since you left. I know you are
in a better place. But I can't help but miss you.
It is almost Thanksgiving. I remember you getting up
at 4:00am to put the turkey on. Working all day in the
kitchen getting all the fixins ready. You would let me
do the dressin because you said I do it better. I can
taste the fruit salad with the little marshmallows in
it.
The brown and serve rolls with butter leaking out. Cran
berry sauce. The Thanksgiving day parade on TV. All the
football games, me and pop used to watch.
I miss sitting and talking about Christmas coming soon.
Planning shopping trips. I remember the day I realized you
and I would never shop together again. I cried all the
way home.
I love your homemade Christmas candy, helping you hang all
those stockings for all of us.
I have the fondest memories of when we lived in the Mize rent
house. We had the most horrible silver tree. But I thought it
was great. Then the next year I walked up by the baseball field
cut a tree down myself. Then drug it home. I sure did not look
that big out in the field. I took up 1/2 the wall and bent over
the ceiling. It looked naked because we did not have enough
ornaments. But you never said much.
I mostly love the way you made me barbie clothes, and furniture
out of commodity cheese boxes. I had living room, kitchen and
bed room furninture. The doors and drawers even worked. Then how
you saved your pennies so you could order the barbie rv from the
Sear's catalog. How surprised I was.
I want so much to be a good mom. I wish you could see my babies.
Well I guess they are not babies any more. The deer hunter is 9
now. You should see the excitement in his eyes when he catches a
fish, lizard or any other of God's little creatures. He has my
blue eyes. He can put an adult to shame when he prays. He gets
up in Church and sings with his friend. Oh how I wish you could
see him. He is my great protector. He has the kindest heart, and
is all boy.
I am paying for my raisin with the Princess. She has a sparkle in
her eyes that can't be equaled. She is the mother to every cat, dog,
rabbit, and bird that calls our house home. When she laughs it is
like joy ebbs from every fiber of her being. She has the most
enchanting singing voice. But so far has chosen to share it only
with her stuffed animals. She looks just like you when you were a
girl, curly hair and all. She is my conqueror. The coach at school
said he pities the man she marries.
I finished my 1st quilt. It as for the little princess. She loves
it. It was made from you flannel pj's, my gown, and one of princesses
gowns. It is very special to her and me. I found material to go with
the beautiful pansies you made. But I can not seem to sew it together.
I think it is still to emotional. I have it pinned together, so maybe
soon I will be able to sew it up.
Oh I wish I could just sit at the Kitchen table with you. Talk about
mom and daughter stuff. I know it is not Biblical but, I sure wish
you could sit on a cloud and watch the deer hunter and princess.
Well I have to go. Supper to get, move the living room around to have
a place for the Christmas tree.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Looking for Fall
Hello Friends,
It is getting to be quit an ordeal trying to find out what all is wrong with
me. I think the new medicine is working ok. But I am tried of being sick, so
no more talk of it..I'll either get over it or not...
I just love the fall of the year. I look forward to with much longing.
The beautiful splash of color painted on the trees by our heavenly father.
The crisp morning air, that wakes up your face. The Pumpkins in the
fields, and on the porches. Ummm pumpkin pie..
Standing out in the night, looking up at the stars that were flung across
the night sky by our heavenly Father. Listening to the sounds of the night.
The hoot of the hidden owl. The coyotes howling from afar.
Watching the last of the lighting bugs shimmer from across the meadow.
Seeing the squirrels scamper to get there winter food stored. The end of
the bullfrogs sounding off, before they bury in for the winter.
What a wonderful time. It is my favorite. I do not do the heat well
anymore. The anticipation of winter coming. Watching a bomb fire with
all the colors bouncing as the fire consumes the wood. It has been to
long since I have enjoyed that.
The air just seem more clean, in the fall. Waking to the fog down in
the valley with the morning sun gleaming off of it. Hiking thur the
woods with the crisp leaves crunching under your boots.
WHOOO HOOOO FALL IS COMING...
It is getting to be quit an ordeal trying to find out what all is wrong with
me. I think the new medicine is working ok. But I am tried of being sick, so
no more talk of it..I'll either get over it or not...
I just love the fall of the year. I look forward to with much longing.
The beautiful splash of color painted on the trees by our heavenly father.
The crisp morning air, that wakes up your face. The Pumpkins in the
fields, and on the porches. Ummm pumpkin pie..
Standing out in the night, looking up at the stars that were flung across
the night sky by our heavenly Father. Listening to the sounds of the night.
The hoot of the hidden owl. The coyotes howling from afar.
Watching the last of the lighting bugs shimmer from across the meadow.
Seeing the squirrels scamper to get there winter food stored. The end of
the bullfrogs sounding off, before they bury in for the winter.
What a wonderful time. It is my favorite. I do not do the heat well
anymore. The anticipation of winter coming. Watching a bomb fire with
all the colors bouncing as the fire consumes the wood. It has been to
long since I have enjoyed that.
The air just seem more clean, in the fall. Waking to the fog down in
the valley with the morning sun gleaming off of it. Hiking thur the
woods with the crisp leaves crunching under your boots.
WHOOO HOOOO FALL IS COMING...
Thursday, August 04, 2005
update
Hello Friends,
This is a short note to let you know I do have
an appointment next Thursday with my neurologist.
I have been talking to a lady from chruch who's
husband has epilsey. She has been very helpful.
I am going to start a calender to keep up with
my seisures and head aches.
Please pray I do not know how long I can work
the way I am now..
This is a short note to let you know I do have
an appointment next Thursday with my neurologist.
I have been talking to a lady from chruch who's
husband has epilsey. She has been very helpful.
I am going to start a calender to keep up with
my seisures and head aches.
Please pray I do not know how long I can work
the way I am now..
Saturday, July 30, 2005
need a little help
Hey friends,
I have not been here much lately. Some of that is
because our computer at home crashed. But other is
because, I am having a real hard time concentrating.
I was diagnosis with epilepsy last fall. It seem I
am having more mini maul seizures. I have also had
one grand maul seizure while I was asleep. My husband
woke up to the bed shaking. It eventual passed.
I of course had no memory of it. This is starting to
affect my job performance. For the 1st time in my life.
I did not get the full raise on evaluation. She told
me I needed to speed up and make better use of my time.
I have had some other medical procedures done lately that
I am still paying for(and I do have insurance go figure)
As soon as I get them paid for I have got to go back to
see the neurologist. I have a real hard time getting around
also.
This sounds like I am 70, but I am only 43. I have days when
I can move pretty good. But then I will have several days that
I find it very hard to just get out of a chair. I am also having
hand tremors. One night my fore finger was jumping for several
seconds..I have been dropping things, or knocking them off when
I try to pick them up..
It is hard to not be depressed. Just typing this little bit my
hand are trembling. And that is what I do for a living..I
may be able to find a job with less stress and skill. But my
family would suffer as we would take a big pay cut..
I am open to any and all advice..
Hope all of you are doing well..
Thanks
I have not been here much lately. Some of that is
because our computer at home crashed. But other is
because, I am having a real hard time concentrating.
I was diagnosis with epilepsy last fall. It seem I
am having more mini maul seizures. I have also had
one grand maul seizure while I was asleep. My husband
woke up to the bed shaking. It eventual passed.
I of course had no memory of it. This is starting to
affect my job performance. For the 1st time in my life.
I did not get the full raise on evaluation. She told
me I needed to speed up and make better use of my time.
I have had some other medical procedures done lately that
I am still paying for(and I do have insurance go figure)
As soon as I get them paid for I have got to go back to
see the neurologist. I have a real hard time getting around
also.
This sounds like I am 70, but I am only 43. I have days when
I can move pretty good. But then I will have several days that
I find it very hard to just get out of a chair. I am also having
hand tremors. One night my fore finger was jumping for several
seconds..I have been dropping things, or knocking them off when
I try to pick them up..
It is hard to not be depressed. Just typing this little bit my
hand are trembling. And that is what I do for a living..I
may be able to find a job with less stress and skill. But my
family would suffer as we would take a big pay cut..
I am open to any and all advice..
Hope all of you are doing well..
Thanks
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